so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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