you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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