we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
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She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.