Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
where are you?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void