I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
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I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
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I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears