Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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