your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
