There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
