What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
