Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
