i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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