What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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