Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I need to stop coming to work sober
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
