worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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