this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
is wine microwaveable?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
