He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
