I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
