P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
