Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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