Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
