just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
