I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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