it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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