She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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