Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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