have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
