Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
