I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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