Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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