I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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