it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
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My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
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He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"