I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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