I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
