idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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