omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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