Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Is it penis luge time yet?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
