Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
