Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
