there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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