Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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