i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
