You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize