FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My dick has a subreddit
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
