OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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