I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
