I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
