gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
