I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
