She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
