Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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