Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It's just like the Real World with babies
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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