Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
