guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
