he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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