You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
