I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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