ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
