well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
