How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize