had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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