My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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