what if I'm pregnant?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
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you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
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She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?