those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize