Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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